Retro Rehash - Star Wolves: Reading Between the Lines

Isn't space cool?  It's all dark and twinkly at the same time.  Filled with stars, nebulas, comets and a whole plethora of totally radical stuff.  Of course, none of these things are as totally wonder bar as the spaceships. Now they're COOL.  Zipping around all fast and gun happy.  Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been in space with solely peaceful intentions. There's always something that  needs pew pewing into oblivion. Whether that be evil pirates, corrupt corporations or some poor sod who happened to have cargo destined for my secret base.  It really doesn't bode well for the inhabitants of the galaxy that we're already blowing stuff up before we even get out there.

   
So, Star Wolves, what is there to say?  It's set in space for one.  Lots of space everywhere, can't get enough.  Secondly it's a mish mash of the RTS and RPG genres, so imagine Homeworld crossed with KOTOR's skills development, and lastly, it's Russian.  That part is very important to remember as it's the only way to excuse the game's most diabolical lapse. But we'll get to that. Developed by X-bow Software and published by 1C Company the setting is a fairly unoriginal one.  Space has been colonised, there's a human empire and some less than reputable corporations banging about... Oh and there are aliens but they show up later.  You play as a self-titled mercenary leading a rag-tag band of heroes through the perils of the universe, making money and claiming booty from your enemies cold wreckage.  And slowly but surely you're pulled into the machinations of just about every major player in the galaxy, all thanks to your incredible ability at wasting people in hard vacuum.  Have you noticed no one is ever looking for the best diplomat or fry cook, it's always with the killing?  More for our intergalactic neighbours to be worried about I suppose.

            

Now then, this might all seem a little dull, especially when you throw in the Ruski factor.  That being the most embarrassing voice acting known to man.  It's god-awful and single-handedly relegates the story to a very hazy plot that you follow with varying degrees of understanding.  This is then compounded by a less than (inter)stellar translation that, well, at times inflicts genuine suffering on the player.  A five year old dyslexic could have done a better job.   Understandably therefore, you might be wondering why you'd ever want to play what sounds like the gaming equivalent of an extinction level event.  To that, I offer the following.

                  

"3,2,1, FIRE!!

Star Wolves has one very big plus in it's corner, it's pretty.  True, space games tend to age more gracefully than your average workaday shooter, but a few times I was genuinely impressed with the lighting effects as a stars rays illuminated a remote space station, or I zoomed in on a gun ship as it strafed an enemy frigate.  It's one of those games that is a pleasure to look at and it's genuinely fun to mess around with the camera in pursuit of that ideal screenshot.  In a similar vein each of the ships you can buy to accentuate your force has a distinct feel.  The models offer a diversity and variation in design that offers an eclectic selection for your little armada.  Some are excellent dogfighters, fast and packing a wallop in the laser/gun department, while others are cumbersome gunships, laden down with station killing missiles and relying on cover to get the job done.  Of equal note is the soundtrack, a mashing blend of techno rock and roll that at times reminded me of the original Starcraft.  It works to smooth out the rough edges of the game, presenting another clear high production value that is lacking in the writing.  I could just imagine slamming home my cassette, pulling down the roof of my hypothetical sports car and racing off down the A1, the police in hot pursuit as the booming track taunted my would be jailers.  Now that would be fine.

                        

In a stag party, she's the man.

The choice of vessel tallies well with the myriad characters who join your mercenary band.  I found their personas kind of boring to be honest and took to giving them their own back stories and dubious accolades. For instance, resident Imperial fighter jock Viper became the lesbian lover double crossed by her heart of hearts in pursuit of the universes biggest taco.  Interestingly, I feel that the writing took a turn for the better under my guidance.  Back on point you want to choose the right mixture of character abilities and accordingly, ships, to make your little band work.  I lost a lot of money figuring this out and even now make sure the Star Wolf, which accompanies you on every mission as your carrier, has a couple of spares to hand. The Star Wolf is your home away from home and can be loaded out with bigger and better guns, shields arrays and engines.  My main complaint would be that the outward appearance of the old garbage scow never changes; the gun emplacements do but there's no other outward signs of customisation.  So boooo to that.  What the Wolf is however, is a damage sponge.  With some hefty armour and shield improvements it can reap the freaking whirlwind, but never forget can be quickly cut to pieces without fighter support.  

         

The game itself handles a little sluggishly from time to time, with drops in frame rate occurring at odd moments and commands taking that half second longer to be processed.  It's a bit of a ball ache, disrupting the rhythm of combat and accounting for a good few losses on my part.  Glitches from crashing to desktop and freezing have been reported by others, but I never had a problem even if it didn't run with the efficiency of a German rail system. Other than that the games controls are simple to learn and don't put a great  demand on your time; I might even call them intuitive to a degree, although they surely took some pointers from Homeworld and Nexus: The Jupiter Incident.  Nothing wrong with emulating the greats, mind you.

               

In Retro Rehashespect (it's a thing, trust me) when I look at Star Wolves, I see a flawed but entertaining foray into the world of space strategy.  It's never going to win any awards, being far too messy in places to barely stave off sniggers and pointing at the annual sci-fi gaming palooza, but like the fat, sensitive kid at school still has plenty to offer.  It's mechanics are sound and result in some exciting dog fights, while balancing out your squadron takes actual precision and skill.  You can't make every pilot an expert in laser warfare, otherwise who is going to fix your ship in the heat of battle?  This nuance saves Star Wolves from a brutal execution in front of the parade ground, for where it fails singularly as a narrative tale, it excels as a thinking mans game.  Impressive considering how it seems to have been written by a drunken illiterate on sabbatical from his local opium den.  So, come for the painful hilarity and stay for the complexity would be my advice.  Also, whatever you do, don't buy Star Wolves 2.  But that's another story.

Goodnight.

Falling Skies, Failing Sci-Fi

I'm an avid believer in giving T.V shows second chances. It's not that I'm particularly charitable, I just don't like the idea of missing something good based on a less than stellar opening. I did it with Ashes to Ashes, I did it with Torchwood and I even did it with Battlestar Galactica. Sometimes being persistent can really pay off, with Commander Adama now ranking as one of my all time favourite T.V characters. But right from the start I've felt that there is something off about Falling Skies, that it's entire tone is just plain wrong. The answer to this, I thought, lay in a weak setup at the beginning of the series and the truly dire trumpet wailing soundtrack. A bike arrives, the trumpets wail. A main character is in peril, the trumpets wail. An alien moons Noah Wyle and still, the sodding trumpets wail! It completely flattens any sense of drama the show has, never letting it take off. Music is meant to convey to us what is happening on the screen, it foreshadows, it enunciates. So if you carpet bomb an entire episode with the same desultory tunes, you're either suggesting everything is equally important, or as it actually seems, that everything is as pointless as that which preceded it. Either Spielberg really thinks he's that good, in which case he can kiss my E.T hating ass, or he really has lost his marbles. Maybe one of those stallions from War Horse gave him a sharp kick in the head, as god knows he needs a good excuse at this point?  Who knows, maybe he doesn't even watch the damn thing, just rubberstamps it with his prestigious ego.

Aliens have the best killer robots.

Now, where was I? Right, so it's fair to say that I might have become a little obsessed with what could be a single failure in an otherwise fine show. So with that in mind I sat down to watch the season 2 premier, hopeful, my negative opinions dulled by times sweet passage (Read into that what you will). And you know what, for the first two minutes it almost had me. There was shooting galore, enemy Mechs exploding and those ugly, spider Skitter things getting riddled with bullets. But it was like Spielberg couldn't help himself, and soon that nascent score was back tormenting my every waking moment. This was then compounded by another realisation. Something which had managed to slip by my super-sleuth honed eye during the first season. And that's how awful the writing, direction and acting actually is. So one could say I dropped the ball a smidgen on that one, as it really is dire.

Connor Jessup, actor extraordinaire.

The epitome, the focus of all three of these failures can be found in Noah Wyle's son, Ben, played by Connor Jessup. Now, just for those of you who don't know, Ben was captured by the aliens, effectively brainwashed and fixed with something called a Harness. This is some freaky bit of alien technology that runs down your back and plugs into your spine. Having been rescued however, he is left a different person, a shell who retains the strength lent to him by the alien device. So fair enough, he's going to be a bit messed up. Instead however, he comes across as obnoxious and completely devoid of any emotion, something which could be said to be his character but rather feels like just bad acting. Even his body language, having just killed a Skitter with a knife, doesn't fit as surely given how much he hates the aliens this would be the moment to see him exultant. It comes across as exceptionally amateur and a chore to watch. I have no idea how this slipped by the directors notice, but it borders on the absurd when the trumpets start wailing and Ben looks like he's trying to swallow a lemon.

(Sigh) Bring it back.

On the writing front we can see a definite lack of direction from the get go. At the beginning of the first season it's about surviving and finding Ben, which they do in about four episodes. After that however, nothing really seems to happen. They run into some aliens, a couple of bandits, but there's no feeling that there's an over arcing plot. It's much the same problem I had with Stargate Universe. You can't just stick a bunch of people in a desperate situation, have a few crisis here and there and justifiably call it television! I would say it's too episodic, but that's not strictly true either as we are continually reminded that the aliens are the enemy, that they're the friggin centre of the universe every twenty goddamn seconds! And I have to say, I am in no way riffing on episodic T.V shows. I grew up with Star Trek: The Next Generation so I have a fondness for that type of storytelling. No, Falling Skies subscribes to the idea of story arcs while never actually delivering. One has to wonder if the writers were told to coast it due to having the "venerable" Spielberg attached to the project. If they've ever seen A.I, they should be more concerned for their jobs.

Meet the Big Bad.

Now, given all these problems and more, the season 2 premier did have a few things going for it. Firstly, we finally met the head honcho, the alien overlord, the big cheese. He offers Noah Wyle and the human species the opportunity for peace, a safe haven. This Mr Wyle roundly rejects and for the life of me I can't think why. Sure, it'd be humiliating but from what I've seen of the rebels they don't stand a chance anyway. There's a difference between heroism for a cause and committing suicide after all. The aliens make a big deal about how they've never encountered such fierce resistance, but I ain't seeing it. Apart from killing a few Skitters here, a few mechs there, the entire alien occupation seems to be going like clockwork. The rebels really are just an "inconvenience" as the aliens say and Noah probably should have thought things through a little more before jabbing the big boss with a stun stick. That probably pissed him off a little. So in a nutshell it's now up to him to deliver this message to the human race and see who bites, and unless something drastically changes I'd be seriously considering kicking back my heels in that nice little sanctuary.   Also the budget seems to have been given an up, the mechs and Skitters making more of an appearance and with more presence. Whether this continues throughout the series we'll have to wait and see, but chances are we might be seeing a little more gun play in the coming episodes.

So we'll see where Falling Skies goes from here. The big problem in my opinion is that the producers won't realise their series is an interesting idea marred by pretty much everything they've done so far. I think attaching Spielberg to the project was a bad move, it's not his kind of deal. This is an ACTION sci-fi show and he simply doesn't have the chops to deliver kick ass fight scenes and an entertaining story line. Instead we end up with this muddled mess, a bit of shooting and a yawn worthy plot. Who knows, maybe it'll get better? But I'd be willing to gamble everything I own that Falling Skies won't be sitting on my shelf in a years time rubbing shoulders with my Galactica box set, I can tell you that much.