20 Menthol Cools - Riddick

Returning to our cinemas after a nine year hiatus, Vin Diesel's anti hero sci-fi saga continues in the self titled, Riddick. To say that the film's existence is a miracle is not an exaggeration. With the support of no major studio behind it and a rather luke warm response at the box office in it's previous outing, another tour on the big screen didn't really seem likely to be in the offing. But they did it, and by they I mean the unstoppable merc killer himself, Vin Diesel and director of both previous installments David Twohy. It's hard not to respect the commitment behind Riddick, with the Fast and the Furious star leveraging his own house to help fund the project. Without a doubt this was a labour of love that is rare in the current incarnation of Hollywood.

The font of all Riddickness.

Now I must let it be known up front that I am a massive Pitch Black fan and despite it's flaws, thoroughly enjoyed the Chronicles of Riddick. As such I was going into this film prepared for blood, action and an all round entertaining sci-fi adventure. By the same token however, I was braced for cataclysmic systems failure and a disappointment not seen since Sucker Punch (May the gods curse you Zack Snyder). It's the price of being a fan, especially an objective one that you may suffer from time to time while grasping for the next hit. As such I was keeping an open if slightly guarded mind.

First of all it has to be said that Riddick gets off to a slow start, with at least a 25 minute period before things really kick into high gear. I've read here and there about people getting up and leaving, something which still baffles me, as if I've paid, I ain't going anywhere. But it's a necessary build up you'll come to realise; it sets the scene and brings Riddick back into line with the original film. A lone predator against the galaxy. We get closure on the whole Necromonger paradigm, Karl Urban returning for a short scene that confirms his sci-fi loyalty credentials and see Riddick in his own environment. Perhaps as close to happy as sociopathic, monster killing, nocturnal hunters can realistically get. So right there is a reason to stick around, because you know hell is going to be riding in damn soon to ruin the relative calm. And boy does it, in the form of nasty pincer tailed aliens wanting to chow down on our resident anti hero, with the only escape being a group of mercs out for his head.

Nice to have you back Karl, however briefly.

It could be argued that Riddick is a copy of the first film, marooned on a planet with some deadly locals, but that's selling it short. It's all part of bringing Riddick back to basics and then some; the some in this case being the human element ala bounty hunters. Every good action film needs a bad guy and into place steps Jordi Molla as Santana, a man who will settle for nothing short of Riddick's head in a box, literally. He kind of reminded me of Lena Headey's Ma-Ma from Dredd, totally bat shit crazy and merciless to boot. He's exactly the kind of character you love to hate and relish taking a beating. Also when your main protagonist is wanted by half the galaxy for a string of murders and other miscellaneous criminal activity, it's always a good idea to up the psycopathy levels on your main villain.

Let's get those drums beating.

This review couldn't and wouldn't be complete without mentioning Katee Sackhoff of Battlestar Galactica fame. She's a member of another group of mercs lead by Boss Johns (Matt Nable) who is hotly pursuing Riddick to his own ends. It's actually a nice tie in to the first film, so I'll try not to spoil it. A lot of fans will simply be happy to see Miss Sackhoff in a big screen release, but that would be undercutting her performance entirely. Much like her Galactica alter ego, Starbuck, she's tough as nails and knows how to handle herself. But where as Starbuck was unstable and often unsure of herself, Dahla has no such qualms. Delivering two of the beatings to Santana that you will so enjoy. As Sackhoff says, "She's the toughest character I've ever played..." Quite the nod from such a sci-fi veteran.

A complaint that could be leveled against Riddick is that is appears a bit bear bones in the scenery department. What there is, while very well shot and enjoying a high quality of CGI veers slightly towards the minimalist. Personally it didn't seem like much of a problem as the nostalgia trip when compared with the first film is considerable. But I suppose some people might have liked a different setting, maybe a city or some such, much like the change between Predators one and two. Going back to Dredd though, I'd say that it works much as it did for Karl Urban's action flick, being a setting for the characters rather than a distraction from them. On the CGI front as well it has to be said that the creature effects are superbly executed, with Riddick picking up a pet dingo/dog animal early in the film that for all intense and purposes never betrays it's computer coded origins.

Riddick, it's really a big budget RSPCA film.

But what of Vin himself you ask? Does he deliver, or has the pressure of funding, helping to write and produce the movie effected his performance? Not in the slightest, this is pure Riddick and really feels like a film that was put together with a lot of reverence for the character. Diesel has stated that he "fell in love" with our hero from almost the get go way back in 2000, and it's not hard to see why.  It's difficult not to like Riddick for his intelligence, his martial prowess and even, weirdly, his moral code. He's not a monster and when compared with Santana comes across as positively balanced, a man who does evil things out of necessity and maybe (sometimes) a little enjoyment. Not that he isn't undeniably awesome at killing, maiming and inspiring terror. For as he says while eyeing Jorgi Molla's character, in chains of all things, "You go in the first five seconds" and not for a moment do those in the audience doubt it. Riddick is a force of nature and you're damned if you get in his way.

So in this third and hopefully not final outing, if the box office is anything to go by, we're really treated to some proper sci-fi action. None of the pretensions and over reliance on CGI that has come to charaterise the sci-fi movie industry, I'm looking at you Avatar, but a solid character driven story with lots of action. It's also nice to see Riddick developing as a character, a process which has steadily evolved over the previous two installments until he's not the same man who was willing to maroon three innocent survivors back in Pitch Black. So go and see Riddick, be patient and most of all, Rule the Dark.

Mass Effect 3 Extended Cut: Rage

I'm sorry Bioware, NO! NO, NO, NO! Having only purchased Mass Effect 3 recently I'm a bit behind the times; as such however, I'd already heard the phenomenally bad press it's finale had attracted. So I'm not here to bash on the bear bones, kick in my crotch embarrassment that is the original game. But the fix job Bioware released to patch the problem. The problem being of course that different coloured lights and three shitty choices do not an ending make. You see I've looked around and there are mixed opinions on the DLC, some hate it, others like it and some are just happy that an extended cut exists. That their beloved universe will not have to suffer the shame of attending the sci-fi franchise annual wine tasting with such failure tucked between it's deflated butt cheeks. And interestingly enough, it is with these people that I have the biggest beef. With whom I would like to engage in some friendly cajoling before I introduced them to the pointy end of my omni tool. Why you ask? Why humble reviewer, are you in such an uncontrollable rage? Because you don't pat a dog on the head for crapping outside after it's already shat on the carpet, that's why!

Don't get me wrong, it's commendable that having whored themselves out to the dark forces of EA that Bioware could comprehend the idea of consumer dissatisfaction, but it doesn't make up for the original failure. It just knocks a few years off the sentence and I'll be damned if they get to come out of this with an unsullied rectum. Sure, they've made the endings longer and filled in some rather large plot holes: like how did your team make it to the Normandy and why do the Mass Relays explode in every ending sequence? But it doesn't change the fact that the conclusion, the original upon which these fixes were based, plain sucked. I mean, wow, in pretty much every option you are given, minus the bonus were Shepherd can survive, you have to kill your character. Whether you destroy, control or merge with the Reapers you pretty much kick the proverbial bucket. And all I can ask is, why? Why Bioware are you so intent on forcing us to die? Do you hate us that much? Do you feel that your writing staff is so shoddy they can only make something dramatic by killing a character many have invested three games worth of effort into? It makes no sense; why can't there be a happy ending; why can't we CHOOSE to live? As this is a video game that, despite ignoring it's previous incarnations when it suited, champions the player as master of his/her own destiny. And don't even get me started on the Galactic Readiness scale, which again fails to have any effect on the outcome of the game even though it was its entire sodding focus. I mean, these are the people you want to thank for the extended cut? A company who barely seemed to understand what was happening in their own franchise?

I am raging, I appreciate that, but I think Bioware's slap job is beyond the realms of acceptable behaviour. Releasing an incomplete product and then fixing it is, well, just plain dickish. If anything they should have received a curt "good" from the fan base as the extended cut was humbly handed over and been sent to sit in the corner and think about what they'd done. As even with the DLC I still felt that the entire synthetic-organic paradigm was as weak as they came, as such issues were not central to the saga. They played their part, especially with the Geth and Quarrian story line, but it feels tacked on in the end. Like the writers couldn't be bothered and instead through out the old, Order vs Chaos bit. It seemed overly contrived, how the Reapers had to trim the galactic hedge every 50,000 years to avoid some vague synthetic rebellion and ultimate organic extermination. If anything by uniting the Geth and the Quarrians this entire theory falls to pieces faster than your average Kevin Sorbo series.

Anyway I am beginning to drift a tad here, so lets round up. Bioware did bad. Bad Bioware! Don't do that anymore! Then again with Dragon Age 3 on the way maybe I'll be back again this time next year, only a lot drunker and still trying to figure out what a Turian/Human baby would look like. I love you Garrus, too bad Bioware said we couldn't be together. If only there was a way for a computer geek, playing a female character and romancing an alien bird man could make it work in this crazy universe, but I don't see it happening anytime soon.

P.S - Yes the child ending is ridiculous, stilted and completely out of touch with the franchise, but I think that's been pretty well covered already. I'm all out of rage people.

Control Ending
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhVhBz4ANj4

Synthesis Ending
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCU3kl1vfiw

Destroy Ending
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWhlU5xM2E0&feature=relmfu

Falling Skies, Failing Sci-Fi

I'm an avid believer in giving T.V shows second chances. It's not that I'm particularly charitable, I just don't like the idea of missing something good based on a less than stellar opening. I did it with Ashes to Ashes, I did it with Torchwood and I even did it with Battlestar Galactica. Sometimes being persistent can really pay off, with Commander Adama now ranking as one of my all time favourite T.V characters. But right from the start I've felt that there is something off about Falling Skies, that it's entire tone is just plain wrong. The answer to this, I thought, lay in a weak setup at the beginning of the series and the truly dire trumpet wailing soundtrack. A bike arrives, the trumpets wail. A main character is in peril, the trumpets wail. An alien moons Noah Wyle and still, the sodding trumpets wail! It completely flattens any sense of drama the show has, never letting it take off. Music is meant to convey to us what is happening on the screen, it foreshadows, it enunciates. So if you carpet bomb an entire episode with the same desultory tunes, you're either suggesting everything is equally important, or as it actually seems, that everything is as pointless as that which preceded it. Either Spielberg really thinks he's that good, in which case he can kiss my E.T hating ass, or he really has lost his marbles. Maybe one of those stallions from War Horse gave him a sharp kick in the head, as god knows he needs a good excuse at this point?  Who knows, maybe he doesn't even watch the damn thing, just rubberstamps it with his prestigious ego.

Aliens have the best killer robots.

Now, where was I? Right, so it's fair to say that I might have become a little obsessed with what could be a single failure in an otherwise fine show. So with that in mind I sat down to watch the season 2 premier, hopeful, my negative opinions dulled by times sweet passage (Read into that what you will). And you know what, for the first two minutes it almost had me. There was shooting galore, enemy Mechs exploding and those ugly, spider Skitter things getting riddled with bullets. But it was like Spielberg couldn't help himself, and soon that nascent score was back tormenting my every waking moment. This was then compounded by another realisation. Something which had managed to slip by my super-sleuth honed eye during the first season. And that's how awful the writing, direction and acting actually is. So one could say I dropped the ball a smidgen on that one, as it really is dire.

Connor Jessup, actor extraordinaire.

The epitome, the focus of all three of these failures can be found in Noah Wyle's son, Ben, played by Connor Jessup. Now, just for those of you who don't know, Ben was captured by the aliens, effectively brainwashed and fixed with something called a Harness. This is some freaky bit of alien technology that runs down your back and plugs into your spine. Having been rescued however, he is left a different person, a shell who retains the strength lent to him by the alien device. So fair enough, he's going to be a bit messed up. Instead however, he comes across as obnoxious and completely devoid of any emotion, something which could be said to be his character but rather feels like just bad acting. Even his body language, having just killed a Skitter with a knife, doesn't fit as surely given how much he hates the aliens this would be the moment to see him exultant. It comes across as exceptionally amateur and a chore to watch. I have no idea how this slipped by the directors notice, but it borders on the absurd when the trumpets start wailing and Ben looks like he's trying to swallow a lemon.

(Sigh) Bring it back.

On the writing front we can see a definite lack of direction from the get go. At the beginning of the first season it's about surviving and finding Ben, which they do in about four episodes. After that however, nothing really seems to happen. They run into some aliens, a couple of bandits, but there's no feeling that there's an over arcing plot. It's much the same problem I had with Stargate Universe. You can't just stick a bunch of people in a desperate situation, have a few crisis here and there and justifiably call it television! I would say it's too episodic, but that's not strictly true either as we are continually reminded that the aliens are the enemy, that they're the friggin centre of the universe every twenty goddamn seconds! And I have to say, I am in no way riffing on episodic T.V shows. I grew up with Star Trek: The Next Generation so I have a fondness for that type of storytelling. No, Falling Skies subscribes to the idea of story arcs while never actually delivering. One has to wonder if the writers were told to coast it due to having the "venerable" Spielberg attached to the project. If they've ever seen A.I, they should be more concerned for their jobs.

Meet the Big Bad.

Now, given all these problems and more, the season 2 premier did have a few things going for it. Firstly, we finally met the head honcho, the alien overlord, the big cheese. He offers Noah Wyle and the human species the opportunity for peace, a safe haven. This Mr Wyle roundly rejects and for the life of me I can't think why. Sure, it'd be humiliating but from what I've seen of the rebels they don't stand a chance anyway. There's a difference between heroism for a cause and committing suicide after all. The aliens make a big deal about how they've never encountered such fierce resistance, but I ain't seeing it. Apart from killing a few Skitters here, a few mechs there, the entire alien occupation seems to be going like clockwork. The rebels really are just an "inconvenience" as the aliens say and Noah probably should have thought things through a little more before jabbing the big boss with a stun stick. That probably pissed him off a little. So in a nutshell it's now up to him to deliver this message to the human race and see who bites, and unless something drastically changes I'd be seriously considering kicking back my heels in that nice little sanctuary.   Also the budget seems to have been given an up, the mechs and Skitters making more of an appearance and with more presence. Whether this continues throughout the series we'll have to wait and see, but chances are we might be seeing a little more gun play in the coming episodes.

So we'll see where Falling Skies goes from here. The big problem in my opinion is that the producers won't realise their series is an interesting idea marred by pretty much everything they've done so far. I think attaching Spielberg to the project was a bad move, it's not his kind of deal. This is an ACTION sci-fi show and he simply doesn't have the chops to deliver kick ass fight scenes and an entertaining story line. Instead we end up with this muddled mess, a bit of shooting and a yawn worthy plot. Who knows, maybe it'll get better? But I'd be willing to gamble everything I own that Falling Skies won't be sitting on my shelf in a years time rubbing shoulders with my Galactica box set, I can tell you that much.

In Midnight Clad - Void Stalker

We all love anti heroes. It's hard to resist them. They're usually cooler, deadlier and downright more badass than your regular, run of the mill hero and have the odd ability to make us all feel a little edgier. Like that's what we'd be in the face of adversity. James Bourne wielding a pistol like a composite marksman, Riddick as he cleaves his way through yet another unjust bounty hunter (while selectively forgetting why he's being hunted). It all evokes a certain rebellious streak, that although we'd probably not be evil in such a situation, it doesn't mean we couldn't indulge our nastier sides from time to time. It is in this vein that Mr Bowden operates, as he has throughout his Nightlords novels, to bring us a selection of relatable, psychotic Traitor Astartes in Void Stalker.

I think something I've always enjoyed the most about Talos and his company of murderers, psychopaths and general degenerates is the way in which Bowden uses them to play with his readers sympathies. For each moment you see them briefly as less than monsters, when they perform an action that could be described as honourable, it is later stripped away by their depravity and boundless cruelty. It really pushes the envelope of the anti hero archetype, so much so that you are left with a series of horrors punctuated by a moments decency. Bowden makes sure you remember these guys are traitors, there is torture galore here, and yet when they go toe to toe with the Emperor's finest of the Genesis Chapter, boy do you want to see them kill those smug Imperium bastards. It's almost like watching Bowden's three dimensional characters cutting down the less developed creations of the Black Library, and it's exceptionally satisfying.

It's important to consider Void Stalker as part of a larger story, a conclusion to the previous novels of Soul Hunter and Blood Reaver. Does it fulfill what is promised? Is it an epic conclusion? To both of these questions I can answer with a resounding, yes. That isn't to say that the book is perfect, but that it successfully ends the series without dropping at the final hurdle, ala Spider Man. You may have noted that all the examples here so far have been movies, something I felt important to emphasise. Bowden writes in a way that could be easily translated to the big screen, enjoying a far better plethora of action moments, dramatic faceoffs and character developments than was displayed in the near woeful Ultramarines film. Interestingly, the Genesis Chapter is a progenitor of the Ultramarines, so perhaps Void Stalker aided me in working through some deep seated issues?

The story once again revolves around Talos, or the Prophet as he is known and the battle not only with the Imperium, but his brothers and himself. He reaches the climax of his introspection in Void Stalker, his realisations about his Legion and the universe around him. This is intermixed seamlessly with flashbacks to the fall of the Nightlords' last great fortress on the planet of Tsagualsa, to the Progenitors of the hated Ultramarines. Action, character deaths and murderess brutality run throughout the story, with a number of gory scenes bringing home the depravity that even Talos, the main protagonist after all, engages in with relish. It's all quite disturbing for as already discussed, these guys are not your quintessential heroes.  While you can understand them you can never really support them. Only enjoy the ride. I have to admit, in the final confrontation I enjoyed each kill inflicted on the Nightlords, while simultaneously egging them on to see their reactions, their insane bravery. They are one hell of a contradiction and a testament to Bowden's ability to weave such an intricate web. Balancing the Nightlords' demented psyche with a great story, while not travelling into the realms of silliness and camp, bad guy overkill.  Just thinking about such complications makes me want to peel the skin from some innocent bystander and wear it as a cape.  You think I'm sick?  You ain't seen nothing yet.

So to conclude, Mr Bowden has executed a fine ending to a top notch series. Sporting Astartes one can relate too, action scenes which are as bloody as they are exciting and a twist ending you don't expect, Void Stalker is the pinnacle of Space Marine writing. What makes this truly remarkable is the fact that the novel focuses on a traitor legion, something you would have thought would make the process more difficult. But as Bowden showed in the absorbing and near irresistible First Heretic he genuinely seems to understand the minds of the fallen, putting him on top of the Black Library pile for me. For many can write a great action scene, but few could truly express what it means to walk in Midnight Clad. I'll be doubtless reading this series for many years to come, and so should you.