There's a Reason They Call Them Joes: Retaliation

I am a guilty man. Not Operation Yew Tree guilty but certainly skimming the lines of good taste all the same. I, humble reader, enjoyed G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra. That's right I am an insurgent, a terrorist, a threat to good wholesome cinema and by god I will not apologise. It was fun, it was over the top and probably dumber than a bag of retarded cats, but it tickled that inner child (appropriately) with all it's techno ridiculousness and shiny explosions. It was before Channing Tatum even tried to act or Jason Gordon Levitt became a household name and for that we were gifted with the film equivalent of action crack. Cheap, nasty and oh-so satisfying. So when I heard there was to be a second outing for the Joes I was accordingly quite pleased. The withdrawal had become near terminal.  I almost watched a Van Damme movie.

But after sitting for the 110 minute runtime willing something interesting to happen I can safely say any and all previous excitement has been extinguished. This wasn't a G.I Joe movie and much like the new Star Trek films bears a brand, not a franchise. Gone are the exciting sonic weapons, the exo suits, the Pit and the majority of the original cast.  Instead we're left with a bunch of everyday soldiers who quite frankly have almost nothing of interest going for them. They're a special forces team with regular weapons and regular tactics. Sure we get to see a couple of bullets that can be guided round corners but it's all too grounded, as if the producers desperately wanted to prove that G.I Joe can be taken seriously after being savaged by the critics. But that doesn't work because, lets face it, G.I Joe is dumb. It's based on a toy line and really right there is enough said. Battleship and theTransformers franchise are two of the worst creations not only in cinema, but the history of language, art, literature, theatre and any other definable entertainment medium. And why dear reader do I not throw The Rise of Cobra on the bonfire as well? Because it had the common decency to do exactly what it said on the tin and not bullshit the viewer that we were watching a serious, dramatic action film. It was clear we were in it for the laughs, the lights and the explosions. Retaliation violated this sacred accord.

It suffered the Call of Duty effect. It came to believe that action was best expressed by contemporary militaries doing contemporary things with a hyperbolic story line thrown in to convince us fun was afoot. In CoD 3 the Russians invade America. In Retaliation Cobra seizes control of the US government by supplanting the president with an impostor. It sends the entire focus of the film into a tail dive, for on the one hand a terrorist organisation led by a toaster faced baddy has used high tech nannite equipment to replace the most powerful man on earth, but at the same time a couple of Green Berets led by the Rock are going to save the day? Talk about a juxtaposition. Now even if you can buy into this massive discrepancy and think maybe it'll have lots of cool explosions and set piece battles, you'd be wrong. Dead wrong. WMD wrong. For an "action" movie there is surprisingly little actioning going on, with the entire middle of the film meandering around the shocking revelation that the president isn't the president and how super evil Cobra is. There's also a plot focussed on Storm Shadow (a Cobra agent who was tricked into diabolical world machinations) but this hardly qualifies as Sherlock Holmes. If anything it's insultingly obvious. Even the 13 year olds in the audience could figure it out.

So having torn the film a new one maybe you're thinking this is the part when I say, "But at least it stars Bruce Willis." Surely any action film is immediately improved by none other than John Motherfucking McClane, hero of bald men everywhere and had he actually starred I might be saying that. He has about 20 minutes screen time, period. Far, far less than the trailer would lead us to believe and you come out feeling more than a little cheated. He was one of the main reasons I wanted to see the damned film, even mitigating my concern at the new, super real look with good old fashioned star power. Instead he appears briefly midway through the movie, buggers off and comes back for the under whelming showdown. Playing ex General Joe Colton he's supposed to be the creator of the G.I Joes, but we never get any exposition or an explanation of any kind. We really are supposed to just be impressed that Bruce Willis is Joe, a revelation which means nothing without any context. I would have killed to have General Hawk come riding in, declare the whole thing retconned and get back to fighting bad guys with Eiffel Tower eating missiles.

Hawk:  "That's right kids, it was all a horrible Cobra trick to convince you the studio are dumbasses."

Retaliation failed because it wanted to be something it wasn't. It wanted to be serious, a film that the critics wouldn't laugh at, a new and more respectable kind of G.I Joe. Whoever decided that whether it be Jon M. Chu, the writers or some suit they deserve pistol whipping. Preferably with one of those big Cobra rifles from the first film. You ruined a ridiculous premise with a need for vindication. You traded science fiction for the Rock. You destroyed your franchise not by making a commercial flop but by making a totally forgettable movie that while possibly spawning a third has no personality, no sense of fun. Retaliation deserves to be consigned to ignominy as a warning to every other studio out there that some films don't need a sequel, even if you're desperate to turn a buck. Rather that you should call a Channing Tatum movie a Channing Tatum movie and move on. Leaving those who despised the first to their fist shaking and we happy few who loved it to our drooling and much fuller wallets.

Retro Rehash - Blitzkrieg

One of the first things to strike me about Blitzkrieg was it's old school feel. This is in no way a negative point, if anything it endeared me to Nivial Interactive's creation faster than any fancy gimmick or graphics ever could. I still prefer the Risk style campaign maps from the original Total War games for god sake. Much of the draw came from the games relative simplicity.  Sure you fight your way through multiple campaigns and battles but there's nothing else gumming up the works. For such an example of mastication failure I point you to the Men of War series, whose attempts at character guided gameplay are woeful in the extreme. Admittedly this isn't helped by some of the worst voice acting ever committed to audio, but it feels listless all the same. Blitzkrieg gives you the units, the locales and the enemy. The rest is up to you and it's extremely
freeing.

Preparation for battle.

From the campaign screen you're presented with the theatre of combat and the missions available in that area. Many are purely optional but grant you special bonuses which can be pretty handy come the historical engagements. From better artillery pieces to heavier armoured units they can give you the edge you need to reach the next campaign area, whether that be North Africa, the fields of Europe or the vast empty reaches of the Eastern Front. At the beginning of each battle you select your unit composition and move out, perhaps accentuated by extra forces on certain maps but with the core of your army held together by your elite units. These can  gain promotions and as such become far more effective on the battlefield.  By the end of the Allied campaign my artillery had become a force for mass destruction, raising enemy held positions like wrathful and very accurate gods.

Given that there is no resource gathering in Blitzkrieg you have to rely on your own strategic savvy to preserve any operation.  Charging headlong at enemy defences will usually result in a slaughter as hidden anti tank guns and enemy trenches wreak havoc with your forces.  This is where artillery and air power become key for both the spotting and removal of opposition units. From calling in Heinkel bombers to flatten an area to recon planes to spot for your field pieces the use of air power cannot be underestimated.  If anything these two forces in conjunction can win entire battles for you, your tanks and infantry moving into enemy positions all but unopposed.  This is sometimes a little irksome as engagements can devolve into high explosive slanging matches, so it's important to choose your moments to commit your ground troops, usually after a heavy bombardment has exposed a weakness in the enemy line.  Anything else is tantamount to suicide.  Be smart people.

One of the coolest additions Blitzkrieg brings to the table is the ability to lay down defences such as mines, tank traps and trenches to frustrate your opponent. Given that almost everything from bridges to forests are destructible this comes in handy when you need to secure a flank against a counterattack in a decimated area. There's nothing like watching enemy armour flounder against your AT guns and infantry trenches before launching your own into the fray. One of the most important realisations I have had when it comes to Blitzkrieg however, is that it is a game which relies heavily on you to take the reins. It's very easy to dig in and lob shells across the map rather than taking the fight to the enemies front door. Some of this is the failure of the game itself, with ground units feeling too fragile to commit for fear of losing them for no tangible gain. I know I wouldn't attack a village before softening it up with extreme levels of ordinance, but it's a bit frustrating at times when the defenders hold a clear and unexplained advantage. A few times having engaged enemy tanks in the open with my own I've been baffled by the slaughter that has ensued, despite the relative equality or superiority of my own armour. It seems that in trying to make you think your way through problems the designers might have upped the difficulty a little too far, relegating some units to paper tigers in all but name.

Meet the gun line.

Now moving onto more technical issues, hailing from back in 2003 Blitzkrieg's isometric terrain and graphics stand up under modern scrutiny surprisingly well, the shifting weather system being of particular note. There's nothing more inconvenient than a sandstorm invading the map just as your forces advance to evict an enemy anti tank position. The explosions and flashes of guns are credible if not all defining, the explosive crump of artillery being my personal favourite amongst the game's 350 units. It should be noted that not all of these are useful, with infantry demonstrating themselves suited to a defensive role only, although their guns sound convincing even if their effects are negligible.

So what have we learned class? Firstly, that Blitzkrieg requires you to use your noggin. If you don't you'll find yourself frustrated and very, very dead. Secondly, the AI is a little passive but holds a massive advantage in defence. You'll find that some of these advantages shift to you when in the same position, but that the computer is far more effective at employing ground units to punish your lines than you are. I have to say that while this can be annoying it does offer up a real challenge and so should be forgiven in the spirit of cerebral stimulation. And lastly, it's fun, really fun, if you can accept the finite resources and capabilities you're given and use them to out think the enemy. It's particularly rewarding come missions end if you're still in possession of your core units while the German or Allied armour smolders in the background. Blitzkrieg is smart gaming if you want it to be, so give it a go and if it's not for you, there's always Halo Wars.

I Obeyed the Law

I'm not a big fan of personal posts, they feel all touchy feely and that's not really in keeping with my distaste for social interaction. But for this special, nay monumental event I've decided to throw my neurosis out of the window for the next few minutes to show off my latest DVD acquisition. It's my favourite movie of 2012, holds the title for the best comic book movie ever made as voted for by myself and the constituents of a rotten borough somewhere near Swansea and most of all puts your faith back in good old fashioned violence. That's right, it's The Amazing Spiderman. I just can't get enough of Andrew Garfield and his exciting new take on web slinging and the power/responsibility paradigm. Just take a look.

Nope, that's not Andrew Garfield.

As you can see I was misleading you with super sleuth like cunning. This isn't some two bit cash in that no one asked for, this is Dredd and as you may know from my previous review I am something of a fan of Karl Urban's take on Mega City Ones greatest law enforcer. I won't regale you with the specifics again so take a look here.  But if you haven't already, check this gem of mature comic book film making out. It didn't do well at the box office being an 18 and for that reason alone we're probably not going to see a sequel, but maybe if we mobilise, shake our fists and flush the studio with exemplary DVD sales we can see Dredd kicking ass and taking names sometime in the next twenty to thirty years. So buy it and make sure it's the right copy as no one should suffer Sly, especially if taken unawares.

Failure to purchase this DVD will result in a sentence of three years in the Cubes with no opportunity for parole.  Carry on citizen.

Retro Rehash - Wing Commander 3: Heart of the Tiger

From the opening full motion sequence I knew I was in for something special with Wing Commander III: Heart of the Tiger.  Whether it was the appearance of Mark Hamill, the movie style dialogue or just the thrill of seeing Luke Skywalker with a moustache, I'm not sure.  It was likely a product of all three.  But in any event I had found my newest addiction, the fix for which I would spend hours pining and then many more hours strapped to my chair with a bucket over my head and a badly painted starscape mounted over my monitor. The third installment in Chris Robert's Wing Commander series, Heart of the Tiger was released way back in 1994, arguably the golden age of space sims and chronicles the story of one Colonel Christopher Blair (Mark Hamil).  Having been raging for the past thirty years the war with the Kilrathi Star Empire is going from bad to worse as the Confederation is pushed to the breaking point.  Stationed aboard the TCS Victory, you and your rag tag band of misfits, lunatics and xenophobes must help to stem the tide and turn the tables on the Kilrathi, while forming lasting friendships and animosities, all of which are rendered in full motion video.  Now, I know what you're thinking.  FMV's are bad.  They're awful.  They're the product of all that is evil in the world, they may even have links to Fascism.  To this I say, you're right, just not this time.
       

"I'm an actor, a real actor.  I'd give that Red Alert Tanya a go mind you."

With a huge budget, a professional screenplay, A-list actors such as Malcolm McDowell, Jon Rhys-Davis, and Tom Wilson Heart of the Tiger is possibly the only example (minus Wing Commander 4: The Price of Freedom) of a well blended FMV/Game experience.  For while that other game of FMV fame Command and Conquer can claim the use of FMV's, they're more tongue in cheek and not of the same calibre.  Wing Commander is meant to be a movie and a video game while C&C is a video game with FMV components.  Anyhow, I constantly found myself hankering after the next cutscene, the next character interaction.  For much like in the far newer Mass Effect series you can get to know and develop friendships with your crew mates.  The dialogue options are boiled down to two responses, such is the complication of acting out every branching conversation tree, but it demonstrates how detailed Chris Robert's creation really was.  These weren't just characters who you blindly followed, you had choices, you decided how things panned out.  And this was way back in 1994.
                 

The Arrow: A need for speed!

Kilrathi Strakha: Stealthy SOB's.

So having gushed over the FMV's lets move onto the meat of the game, the combat.  As otherwise we're just watching a film, a very good film but a film none the less.  Simply put, it's excellent.  From the cockpit design, the selection of both enemy and allied star fighter models and the actual learning curve when pacing your weapons fire to strike the enemy, it's all very impressive.  I particularly enjoyed being able to strafe the hangar deck or hull of an enemy carrier in the Arrow, it's slide ability allowing you to deal maximum damage along a capital class vessels entire length.  It makes for an extremely cool and immersive experience, taking both skill and balls of steel to pull off without getting vaped, especially when one misstep will find you buried in a bulkhead or crashing into a parked Kilrathi fighter.  I did that a fair few times and ended up sucking hard vacuum, for all the two seconds it would have taken my fuel cells to ignite and incinerate my body.  As we've come to expect from our space sims the array of commands and controls available are all in attendance, from being able to order your wingman to cover your ass or shunting power to those rapidly weakening shields.  Nowadays, well in more modern games such as Starlancer and Freespace we take these as a given, but it's always worth remembering how seminal Wing Commander was.  How much like Half Life it defined an entire genre and what we as gamers expect as standard.  If you play Heart of the Tiger just like any other game you'll still love it, but taken as a benchmark in video game history you can appreciate its nuances all the more.
 

Prepare to die... Again.... And Again.

So we've had the worship, the fanatical displays of sacrifice to Robert's creation and now it's time for the harder truths.  The wee failures here and there.  The first and most striking to me, perhaps due to a modern perspective more than genuine flaw, is the feeling of repetitiveness.  This is far more prevalent in the earlier parts of the game as the story slowly builds up a head of steam, as without a definite direction to be following it begins to feel like you're jumping all over the place, blasting some bad guys at various way points and then buggering off.  As the game progresses this does abate, with more capital class ships being thrown into the mix and missions linking more tangibly with the overall story.  For while protecting a convoy of freighters can be fun, it doesn't plug into the experience in the same way as punching a hole through a Kilrathi blockade as to allow the Victory to escape.  Maybe I'm being picky as blending FMV's with game play seamlessly is doubtless difficult, but then again some greats do take their sweet time getting going.  The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, Babylon 5 and the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers to name but a few.  That show had less than nothing before Tommy showed up, and then we got nothing but gold.  It should also be noted that on any given mission you can only take the grand total of one wing man with you.  This in itself is a bit limiting, especially given the general incompetence of some of your co-pilots, (cough, Flint).  As I mentioned above however, this could be a failure of the time as we've come to expect super-high-class rendered-bullshit powered multiplayer in our games.   It'd be nice to have a little more backup though.
         
As always with any review you have to straddle the line between being informative and giving away every detail which defines what you're reviewing.  It can be hard, for how else are you to get people to understand exactly how amazing or truly terrible something is without being specific?  In such a vein I can say only this about Wing Commander 3: Heart of the Tiger.  In my humble opinion it is one of the greatest games I have ever played, and I don't say that lightly.  Granted the only other game I've played is Cricket Revolution, but I learned a lot from that experience.  Some of which can only be properly analysed with the help of a seasoned mental health professional.  So there you go, slow starter, excellent game play, movie style cutscenes.  It's an instant classic.  Now play it.

And just in case you're still unsure, heres a trailer that will blow your socks off.  Or at least mildly impress you.

2500 Years in the Making: Coriolanus

I used to hate Shakespeare.  Not because it was bad or I couldn't understand it, but because like every other English school child I was forced to read it.  Not just once, but again and again as we painstakingly analysed every single sodding line.  It would, I think, make an excellent form of punishment.  Imagine the horror of being told to make notations for every nuance, every metaphor or else to do it all again with a whole new play.  Kids would learn very quickly to shut the hell up and behave, lest they want to bleed from the ears, I can tell you that much.  Yet, now I'm older and no longer have the educational gun to my head, I've found that I rather enjoy SOME of Shakespeare's work, most notably being Kenneth Branagh's Henry V and Leonardo Dicaprio's modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet.  So, when I saw the trailer for Coriolanus my interest was naturally piqued.  Modern warfare and classic literature?  Just try and stop me.
 

The armour of contempt: Caius Marcius.

Having been written between 1605 and 1608, the first thing I have to say is how well the story has aged.  Obviously revamped and brought into the 21st century by director Ralph Fiennes, Coriolanus and it's tale of pride and treachery is still as relatable and tragic as it was 400 years ago.  General Caius Marcius, played here by none other than Lord Voldemort and director Ralph Fiennes himself, is a hero of Rome, bane of their hated enemies the Volscians and noble to the core.  His disdain for the plebeians, the common folk is well known, demonstrated early in the film as he faces down a rioting mob.  Awarded the title Coriolanus he is set to be Consul, before the machinations of politicos and his own pride banish him from the very city he has given everything to protect and into the arms of his greatest enemies.  As a character it is hard to like Coriolanus, his arrogance and brutality too overbearing for the modern pallet, but you can respect him for staying true to his convictions.  Fiennes's portrayal is intense and moving, bringing to life a legendary general who is now believed to have never existed.  While his fall from grace is as deserved as engineered by those who would seek power themselves.
         

"This is Shakespeare!"

The supporting cast is an impressive array, with Brian Cox, Vanessa Redgrave, an under used Jessica Chastain and Gerard Butler as Volscian leader Tulfus Aufidius .  Each performance, while not necessarily stunning, is in line with Shakespeare's characters.  Each wrangling for their own agendas, their own advancement while Coriolanus is immovable in his convictions.  Relegated to being a pawn as he singularly refuses to play the games of those around him.  I have to say that Butler took me by surprise, his roughness, his inner Leonidas giving him the perfect counterpoise to Fiennes's calculated yet refined Roman general.  The parallels between the modern West and the Middle East are clear to see, but aren't forced in our faces, the tale of a 2500 year old struggle between the civilised Romans and the more barbaric Volscians successfully being preserved and not sacrificed to contemporary politics.  This is still first and foremost the tragedy of one man.
                   

Modern Warfare, 2500 years in the making.

Overall the modern setting is successful if a little jarring at times.  It's odd to see a military figure lauded as a hero or a man in a suit spouting Shakespearean cant, but once you get past the initial disorientation the story takes care of the rest, as do the action scenes.  While these aren't extensive, they are well choreographed as is the fight between Caius Marcius and Tulfus Aufidius.  My only complaint was that there wasn't more of it, that a few more explosions and a bigger battle would hardly of compromised the Shakespearean tone.  But hey, that could just be my Die Hard side talking.
                               
The problem Coriolanus has is that it's a little too far outside the norm for literary buffs and not Hollywood enough for the majority of film goers. It would definitely explain the films overall poor performance, but it would be unfair to judge it by this alone.  Shakespeare naturally puts many of us off, memories of hours pouring over one work or another forever seared into our brains.  So, what I would say is give Coriolanus a chance to change your minds.  Now that you're a little older, a little wiser, the language is far from insurmountable and leaves you feeling pretty clever come the closing credits.  How many movies can claim that?

Retro Rehash - Star Wars Republic Commando: Fragging Tinnies

Beneath my layers of cynicism, disappointment and burning resentment, I am and always will be, a Star Wars fan.  It's in my nature.  No matter how many half-arsed, poorly produced, badly written pieces of fierfek Lucas authorises I will stand firm, albeit embarrassed, by my universe.  It makes no sense really. It's the product of my inner fanatic, nay, my inner religiosity.  I've grown up with Star Wars and I'll be damned if I'll be run out of town by the blatant money grabbing which has come to epitomise everything about the series.  I mean, come on, Oshaka Tano?  Really George, do you hate us that much?  But on top of my blind adoration sits a nugget of hope that every once in a while still glints, is still capable of rousing my wounded loyalty.  A small gust of wind clears the ashes of so many cash ins and I can feel that Star Warsiness again.
             

Clear the way Delta.

In Star Wars: Republic Commando I found a respite from Jar Jar Binks, Anakin Skywalker, droids cracking wise and the oh dear god pain of it all.  In a sound choice, Lucasarts took this foray into the universe in a completely different direction, a grittier direction, than we have seen before.  Bypassing Jedi, Sith and the whole galactic wide shabang you are thrown into the fire that is the Clone Wars with nothing but your Decce, wits and three man team of elite Commandos.  Lead animator David Bogan said he wanted to "focus in on the military aspect of Star Wars," and I think he and his team did a pretty fine job.  From blasting doors, slicing terminals and altogether behaving like unstoppable badasses, you get to take the war to the Separatists like never before.  That isn't to say the game doesn't have it's flaws, but we can get to those later.
                   
Opening with the battle of Geonosis as seen in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, you progress through three separate campaigns in varying locales.  Through the bowels of a ghost ship fighting off Trandoshian slaver scum, the lofty heights of the Wookie homeworld, Kashyyk and the droid foundries of Geonosis.  Each has it's own distinct flavour and never feels like a rehash of what's gone before.  It speaks volumes such detail was put into a genre that often suffers from the same tired and recycled scenery all executed with minimal effort.  Actually, the entire game enjoys a level of attention not seen in a Star Wars game since Knight's of the Old Republic, with everything from the sound to the command hud being designed to a tee.  Utilising Foley Sound, originally designed for film, Republic Commando specialises in bringing the whole package.  Creaking armour and the approach of enemies coincides with the visual presentation with natural precision.  Would you like to know more? Take a look below.

                                   

Sniper Rifles, AKA Precision Shotguns 

On the subject of realism, the command interface for your squad is deserving of special mention. Whether you're ordering your men to take firing positions to fend off a particularly nasty Sep ambush, or to slice a door for rapid entry, at no point did I feel handicapped by the system.  Using a collection of five keys you can keep your squad under control and firmly on the objective.  Thinking about it, my buddies Sev, Fixer and Scorch are probably the best NPC allies I've ever had, even having the nonce to beat off an attack before coming to rescue my sorry shebs.  On  many an occasion I found myself embarrassingly incapacitated and being chastised for my gung ho attitude while being revived.  It was a humbling experience being told off by an NPC that was actually right  for a change. It has to be said that Republic Commando isn't a game in which you can readily run and gun, but nor does it suffer the shame of cover-based game play.  You can order your men to take certain positions and you can feel free to shield yourself behind a wall, but don't for a second think you'll be cowering there for long.  It's all about the action baby.  With your Decce ion blaster and it's multiple attachments you'll be raising hell and fighting for your life.  Choosing which attachment to use in any given situation does require a bit of a knack. For instance, you'd better be saving those armour piercing grenades for the droid heavies and not wasting them on your bob standard battle variants, even if they do clear a room faster than a Nemoidian tax collector.  My personal favourite was the sniper attachment, packing one hell of a wallop and accuracy all in one neat package.

But just as the Republic are efficient and roll all their killing implements into one, the other races in the game possess their own unique styles and quirks.  The Trandoshians are projectile based, nasty and look like they've been put together with all the care and attention warranted in your average  Toydarian junk store.  Meanwhile the Geonosian beam weapon is a clicking, clacking, breakable looking thing that belays it's deadliness.  My only real complaint is that the basic Decce is unsuited for killing anything tougher than a battle droid with any ease and lacks the punch to stick it to heavier opponents.  So balls to the wall you'd better have a thermal detonator handy or it's lights out for Delta Squad.

Trandoshian Weaponry: Good as new with a slap of paint.

Having complimented the game to within an inch of worship there are a few problems that need addressing. First and most importantly of all, it feels a bit short.  I ran through it in about eight hours and while this is standard fair for a shooter I was kind of hoping that the Lucasarts team would have gone that extra parsec like they had throughout.  I was genuinely disappointed when I reached the end credits, although that could just be a sign of wanting more of a good thing.  Also, while the selection of weapons is eclectic it's not that vast, with about six pieces besides those which are attachments for your standard Decce.  This may seem a small gripe, but it would have been fun to really put those Commando skills to the test with a more blistering arsenal and customisable load out.
                     
So coming to the end Star Wars: Republic Commando is a first rate, standout shooter that does almost everything right.  The detail is truly fantastic and keeps the player immersed in a universe which seems genuinely alive, well until you start killing things.  It demonstrates that there is still mileage left in the Star Wars engine if the time and effort is invested properly, and not on anymore drivel that is meant to convince us Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader.  Delta Squad are a fine addition to the universe fully deserving of their place in the lore, alongside Han Solo, the Death Star and even Jabba the Hutt.  As surely as Republic Commando deserves a place in your video game collection.

You Disobeyed the Law: Dredd

These days violence is everywhere, be it in movies, video games or right outside your living room window if you happen to live in Hull. So it's fair to say that it's hard to really effect an audience, draw them in with a little mindless gun play and pints of fake blood. It has to be crafted, it has to seem necessary and most of all it has to toe the line between being gratuitous and justifiable. It is in this sweet spot that Dredd operates. Is it brutal? Yes. Does it make you cringe at times? Yes. Does it fit the tone, the character, the entire movies focus? Hell yes. You see being an 18 Dredd has the license to push boundaries and be downright bloody, but director Pete Travis seems to have twigged that gore alone doesn't make a film. It can in fact ruin one. So he set out to make a flick that is adult, in keeping with the Judge Dredd universe and doesn't lose itself in the process to childish Saw V antics. Something which could have easily been done with a character like Dredd, a one man wrecking machine with the ability to dole out justice straight into the brain pan of any would be criminal. A Dredd directed by Paul W.S Anderson really.

Smiling's for pussies and criminals.

So it was going to take a pretty stoic and outright badass actor to take on the role of Mega City Ones most unstoppable Judge. Someone like Bruce Willis, Jason Statham or the guy who played the green Power Ranger for instance. They got Karl Urban, and by the end of the movie I could barely comprehend why I would have ever wanted anyone else. Never removing his helmet the entire film it was going to be quite the challenge to portray Dredd as anything but an automaton, maybe packing a few quips but lacking in any real personality. For while not a complicated character to portray in any other action movie, being unable to express yourself with a full set of facial features is one huge handicap. Yet somehow, Urban pulls it off. With a voice that sounds like he chugs gravel like normal men down coffee, a mouth which has never even seen a picture, of a ghost of a smile, and an intimidating screen presence he brings Dredd to life and revels in it. He is the law and I'll be damned if I'm going to disagree.

Judges Dredd and Anderson enforcing the law.

Lena Headey as Ma-Ma: She's a wholesome lady.

Now that we have our enforcer, our title character it was up to writer Alex Garland to put Dredd in just the right situation for his select number of personality traits to shine. There couldn't be a repeat of Stallone's rambling mess or the franchise would never rise again. So enter a rookie Judge (Olivia Thirlby), a drug lord with serious anger management issues (Lena Headey) and 200 levels of degenerate criminal scum and you've got yourself a Judge's worst nightmare. Any Judge that isn't Dredd of course. Even with Olivia Thirlby's trainee Judge Anderson in tow he's a one man army and completely devout in his pursuit of justice, which amounts to some exceptionally cool set piece shoot outs and you leaving the cinema feeling pumped up to the eyeballs with manly testosterone. Anderson, it must be said, acts as a fine counter pose to Urban's slab of concrete emotional dysfunction, bringing a much needed human element to the film. As between Ma-Ma (Lena Headey) and Dredd there are some very extreme and psychotic personas flying about vying for attention, sometimes in the form of mini guns and brutal executions. So it's nice to have Anderson's grounding influence to remind us we haven't strayed into an asylum for gun wielding sociopaths.

Fear not citizens, I'm only out for a jog.

Being a post apocalyptic setting Dredd has to come with a certain desperation, a battle for survival that is defining of the time. In this area Dredd pulls off a more than passable depiction of a world in ruins, of corruption and crime running rampant. Every now and again the sets do seem a bit bear but it fits the aesthetic of the movie and doesn't feel like a cop out on the part of the budget. A few times I was reminded of the original Total Recall by the general murkiness of the world, minus the venerable Shwarzenegger that is. Without a doubt the entire movies success stems from it's serious tone, pulling away from the ridiculous campiness of the original in favour of a grittiness more in keeping with the series.

Coming to a conclusion Dredd is easily my favourite movie of the year, beating out The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises for the top spot. And this is for one simple reason. It achieves everything it sets out to do. There are no moments where I felt the plot, the script or the action had dropped the ball and to me that's just plain impressive. It's boxes of action, violence and comic book loyalty are all neatly ticked. It was tightly executed from beginning to finish and I really hope to see another in the offing, as where else can anyone be both a bit nerdy and bloodthirsty in cinema these days?